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At a casino buffet in Las Vegas, he heaps a plate for her as she yells across the room; under his breath, he mutters: Anna Nicole, walking unsteadily and slurring her speech, is excused on medical grounds from taking part in the action. Stern is relentlessly mocked, called a "pussy boy" when he won't go swimming, and asked "Is your dick hard yet? She was the perfect celebrity, a surgically enhanced sex goddess with monstrous appetites, no obvious talent and a narcissism that matched the mood of the Nineties. Caroline Wozniacki has taken to Twitter to show Rory In her last film, a sci-fi farrago called Illegal Aliens, her medicated stupor made it impossible for her to memorise dialogue, so instead she burps, hiccups and noisily farts.

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One way of neutralising her was to treat her as a mother not a mistress, and hangers-on habitually called her "Momma".

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I can't wait to hear how Turnage has composed the symphonic physique of Anna Nicole Smith. In Illegal Aliens, she belongs to a trio of extraterrestrial kickboxers who descend to Earth, wriggle into skimpy shorts and strained bras, then set about recapturing a gizmo called a mega-gravitron that has tugged the moon out of the sky and put it on a collision course with Earth. A tabloid took an inventory of the drugs she carried round with her, listing Aldactazide, Decadron, Demerol, imipramine, methocarbamol, Prilosec, Propulsid, Seldane, Synthroid, temazepam, Vicodin and Xanax. The Reagan era legitimised greed; Anna Nicole's grossness was a logical consequence of this shift in public morality. She began the day with an injection of vitamin B12, immunoglobins and human growth hormone. Ain't it kinda painful? Karen Birney If there was one thing we could have expected from Meghan Markle in all the furore of royal wedding planning, it's that she would choose a chic, elegant, exclusive place to throw a low-key but

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