Added: Liane Boehmer - Date: 08.12.2021 11:00 - Views: 13646 - Clicks: 927
It is aimed at those men who discover a BDSM community and who suddenly and inexplicably forget every social skill they have ever learnt in their entire lives. New and shiny submissive men, this is for you! Nor is it appropriate to present her with a list of your fetishes as if your kinks are some kind of gift to her.
Dominant women looking for a submissive are women seeking a relationship.
Think about this for a moment. It makes her feel like you are looking for a female body to fit into your fantasy, that you will submit to any female-identified person would you? Dominant women are bombarded with those offers day in and day out… mostly from wankers, but also from men who are somehow misguided into skipping all the steps that it takes to court a woman with his charms being sweet, smart, funny, having sparkling conversations, discovering common interests, getting to know each others quirks, going out on women looking for submissive men, sharing a sense of humour, flirting madly etc etc… normal relationship stuff.
Get it, do the things. Loves: 36 Please wait…. Seriously, I've often been tempted to on as a women simply to teach some of these guys a lesson, but frankly, I doubt it would sink in. It's too bad that those two types never seem to find each other and go off women looking for submissive men, leaving those of us with a handful of brain cells to sort things out.
I used to walk up to random groups of girls and ask one of them out. When they would turn me down, I turn to her friend standing next to her and ask her out. It was hilarious…. Think of it like this: if I told you to do a half hour of intense aerobic exercise, right now, even if you are in great physical shape it would feel like putting in effort. Guys and girls who hate cleaning anything at work or housework at home may still contentedly while away the afternoon in the driveway cleaning and detailing their motorcycle.
What sounds like an annoying and idealistic laundry list of traits becomes nearly effortless when and if you finally meet the person you are excited about being around. But the person who is right for you will respond to your goofy pun about your favorite video game with an even worse one of her own, and be witty and charming right back!
If you show up for playdates on time, well groomed and dressed nicely and appropriately, the right person for you will unfailingly respond to that extra effort by putting in even more extra effort herself during the session. Or they might be going through something in their work or personal if that is just temporarily draining the energy and attention out of them.
If everybody were completely perfect and right for everybody else, there would be no fun and no point in having any kind of specific friendships or relationships at all. You would literally walk out the door and invite the first person you see to come watch a movie or go jogging with you because it will all turn out the same way no matter who you picked.
Leaving aside any fetishes and kinks to the contrary, if you went out on a date with a woman and she was:. And why should you? I have helped some male submissives and some male friends get ready for dates they felt really excited about. Basically I just took them through a male equivalent of everything I as a woman would typically do to get ready for a date.
Showering, exfoliating, shaving everything, cologne, deodorant, let that set and dry for awhile while you clean up your eyebrows, shave and exfoliate your face and moisturize, do something with your hair, then maybe a touch of makeup, at least just a little bit of mascara to define the eyes and some chapstick to make sure lips are not dry and chapped in case you get a goodnight kiss. Another very light layer of cologne, then let that dry while you go to the Internet to look at her Facebookand scroll through some of the messages you have sent back and forth. To see what kind of activities and restaurants she enjoys based on the pictures and status updates over the last couple months.
Back to your closet to put together an outfit that comfortable and looks good — but that is also practical for the weather and activities you guys plan to be doing. Great idea, except just about every woman in her dating life will have one or two bad experiences with a guy who felt entitled to more than he was getting and made some kind of big awkward scene or situation.
I am not afraid of the average man at all; he can make a stupid childish scene if he wants to, and I will be annoyed and amused. But I am aware and respectful that he may have at least a few inches in height and reach advantage over me and on average 20 or 30 pounds in weight. So, I make sure that my pepper spray and a few other self defense tools are with me and accessible.
Unfortunately it is a case of a small percentage of men repeatedly committing violence against women and ruining it for the rest of men. If you could look at a guy and instantly tell that, women would just never go anywhere near those men! Then there is all the extra effort that various societal catch 22 situations causes to become important. I do not personally believe that an outfit or article of clothing can be inherently slutty — because after all, a piece of clothing is not a sentient living being so it can either give consent on my behalf nor overrule my consent decisions.
But, I have to work with the cultural norms of the society I am stuck in, so I end up trying on a few outfits trying to find that balance between something I feel looks good and attractive without seeming to fall into that vague and confusing imaginary zone of asking for it or implying that I intend to do something sexual. Similarly, we nearly never get to see women and images of women in any media with NO makeup.
What we see, and are habituated to seeing, is women in subtle makeup that evens out skin tone, emphasizes contour and color of her features and bone structure, and draws attention to eyes and lips. No comment. I have naturally full lips in a cupid bow shape, but my lip skin tone is barely a shade darker then my surrounding face.
I had bad asthma and allergies as a young child, so although the skin under my eyes is never puffy as an adult, it is a few shades darker. Am i showing this person what I look like when I have gone to exactly no effort to look better? Partly because I think it would be rude to put forth no effort to make a decent impression. Be polite but not a doormat…. The list could go on and on of everything we are all trained to believe women should do and be as a fairly minimum standard. If a guy showers, brushes his hair, puts on clean clothing with no obvious stains or tears in it, brushes his teeth, and maybe shaved or grooms his beard, then he is done and ready for the average date.
Anything he does beyond that in most situations is going to be considered him going above and beyond. And believe me we will be discussing it with our female friends in a very positive light later.
Not every man typically goes to that minimal of an effort in his dealings with the women in his life. Some typically do much more, some do much less. And not every woman always does that huge check list of things I have pointed out. While you are looking at a small basic checklist of things a woman would like to see in a potential new male, keep in mind that many women feel culturally obligated to meet a much longer checklist of qualities. Yes, I know what you mean, though it is a slightly different problem.
I am trying to reach those men who actually are lovely, but somehow suddenly, inexplicably become oblivious to social norms in this new environment. My post was prompted by a communication with a mature, seemingly nice newbie submissive who honestly thought that offering his service to a strange woman was appropriate and would be appealing to her. Men who come at me trying to shortcut a connection with me… wtf? Men answer me this???? This is exactly how I feel everytime a man asks if he can be my slave, or tells me he is new and asks me to teach him the ropes because i look experienced and can show him the way- straight outa the gate.
Sure you can be my submissive if we can get married while your at it. Wanna meet me at the justice of the peace during lunch new submissive of mine? I've asked random boys out also, but asking someone out is NOT at all the same as asking someone to be your girlfriend.
The second is creepy. I'm sure it was hilarious for the girls too — girls love to be treated like interchangeable objects see my entire post above! Yes, I do. I can't provide any useful advice to those who have no social skills at all, have never had a successful relationship, and have no clue how to behave in female company.
They need more than a friendly nudge in the right direction from some woman on the interwebs. I love what you are saying here. His whole concept of how this was hilarious is based entirely on his own view of what is funny. Where as a woman I can tell you that having a random mail come up and start making demanding requests of you ranges anywhere from annoying, confusing, irritating, to downright threatening and insulting.
It is almost never funny unless the guy is so socially awkward that it strikes that sympathy funny bone. If women were laughing at what this guy was doing, the odds are really good that it was the polite social laughter meant to defuse an incredibly awkward and worrisome situation. Of course, this shotgun approach technique is taught by certain schools of pickup artists groups, where they hope to desensitize amen to the concept of rejection by simply having him ask every woman he meets if she would go out with him or be his girlfriend.
And simply not seeming to care very strongly what the outcome of your question will be can definitely project confidence.
But if you as a male who may be larger, more aggressive, and have more upper body strength, come up to her and invade her personal space and interrupt her social time uninvited and start making a bunch of strange and inappropriate demands, she may literally try to please you and calm you down because on some level she feels there is a potential physical threats to her safety developing here.
And they women looking for submissive men to get away with it without getting Maced or outright punched, because our society has conditioned everyone to expect women not to be violent or dangerous. Including women,BTW, who are conditioned to expect themselves to find non violent and pleasant solutions to situations that may actually require unpleasantness, rudeness, and even physical violence to resolve.
His little story about bothering and embarrassing women in public really was not relevant to the point he was making about people wanting their submissives to meet a minimum standard of decent qualities for a basic vanilla relationship.
So why would he feel compelled to reveal this quasi non sequitur about himself unless it is some form of chest beating dominance display? So what this man is telling us about himself, though he does not realize it, is that rather then better himself as a person so that he can specifically have a shot at developing a relationship with a specific woman or type of women that he has selected as his ideal partner, he would rather just pathetically go begging in the streets until someone is bored enough, lonely enough, broken enough, or insane enough to say yes to him.
What does it say about you as a person if you will accept any random partner you can get? For an hour or for a lifetime, the question is relevant. I read that tale and it makes me get the impression of him as rude, self centered, unaware and uncaring of how his actions affect others, bluffing to cover low self esteem, sexist, and not picky about his partners.
I don't think they would have been overly offended by it. I was asking them out expecting them to say no. I just find it really funny to see the other girls reaction when I ask her friend out right after being turned down by her. I can't help but comment on this. If they had had a successful relationship, why would they be looking for advice on finding another one? Isn't that going a little far?
I know how to behave in the company of a female but that doesn't mean I know how to make a relationship work. Great post and good advice. Sometimes, when walking through the minefield of human relationships, it is hard to remember to just be yourself and let nature take it's course.
Sometimes I wonder if you read my posts at all! I'm very specific about who I aimed this post at, and why. My point is that I'm not aiming this tiny snippet of advice at solving anyone's problems with the basics of relationship building. They have to work that out for themselves.
I think that's true in many cases, but what really frustrates me is when seemingly nice smart men who have sc of common sense out in the 'real world' suddenly have some sort of brain glitch when they find a BDSM community.
Yes, this. And that difficulty appears to be multiplied by the nth magnitude once you put a BDSM filter in front of it. Newbies i still consider myself one are bombarded with images and a range of options be it from Femdom porn, Fetlife profiles or the personals section of the online or newspaper. My current long term relationship and i, a mostly vanilla one, had sex chats before we met each other in person. For many in a good way.
You blog offers a window into true Femdom relationships where the bond is great and it serves in many ways as an ideal. But, i still remember fondly my first BSDM encounter, a one night stand with a woman who i found on the internet. It was electric. My LTR has evolved into a true loving one but with some of that electricity you maintain in yours gone.
In fact this blog has inspired me and the next thing i will write is a dirty e-mail to my woman. I don't think you understood what I was saying though. I could have been more clear I meant that if someone has already had a successful relationship, wouldn't they still be in that relationship and not need advice? Yes, the ultimate success would mean they were still in the relationship. Pffftt… the nerve! We must have two completely different views on what the word successful means. How could it be successful otherwise if they need BDSM to be happy with the relationship? Yes, and often their first introductions newbie insta-subbie, meet newbie insta-Domme reinforce those ideas.
That seems to be a real struggle for many on both sides of the kneel, and the expectation that building a relationship is all about more intensive role playing serving better, taking more pain, subverting non-subly feelings etc etc instead of just being yourself seems obviously flawed, so when smart, mature people don't see it, it is baffling. Though of all the posts that might inspire a dirtyI would women looking for submissive men have picked this as one…!
Kudos to you for coming and actually reading it! If you happen to meet any other lovely submissive men who might benefit from a little nudge, send them over! Have you had a look at Fetlife where there are plenty of discussion forums where you can interact with people? My issue is actually finding the Dommes. There, everyone keeps saying to go to local munches. So frustrating.
Any advice on finding a dominant in the dating world? Think about the vanilla world. Where do you meet partners? At work.Women looking for submissive men
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